Gender differences

I found this re-blog request at http://profeministbro.tumblr.com/ (and boy was that a refreshing find)

Last night at the male-identified training we did an exercise - asking men what they did on a daily basis to reduce their risk of sexual assault. The list for men was one thing: “Don’t go to jail.” When the facilitator of the exercise, who is female-identified, listed things she does, many of the men were in shock. I want to start a Tumblr project where women reblog this post and add on to the list things they do, or things they have been told, to “not get raped.” Then, I’m going to compile the full list in a couple months, as a tool to demonstrate the fucked-upness of rape culture and to show how we as men play an integral role in rape prevention.

Here are a few I’ve heard:

• Watch your drink.
• Don’t go out after dark (which in Chicago will be 4 PM in a couple weeks).
• If you do go out, go in a group.
• If you go out in a group, make sure you all leave together.
• Don’t wear revealing clothing.
• Carry your keys in your hand.
• Carry pepper spray.
• Carry mace.
• Carry a weapon of some kind.
• Take self-defense classes.
• Avoid darkly lit areas.
• Talk on the phone while walking home at night.
• Don’t text so you don’t appear distracted.

I'll add:

* don't take an unlicensed mini-cab

* stay sober

* and the old favourite: don't talk to strangers (so how am I supposed to meet people?)

Please reblog and add more.

'Bitch'

I wasn't originally planning to keep this blog beyond a year, but Dulwichmum's blog has inspired me to return. Dulwichmum writes a beauty blog, largely because her career as a scientist doesn't allow her such frivolous conversations. Why is it frivolous to be interested in your appearance?
We've managed to trivialise this (fairly universal) concern - and it's an understandable one for any visual species - while at the same time putting a huge amount of baggage and pressure on women's appearance, inextricably linking it to self-confidence. Think about it: we use insult like 'bimbo' and 'Barbie' for women we assume to be shallow because they've clearly put the time in, but equally use 'frump' and 'boring' for women who've 'let themselves go' (we presume) because their appearance doesn't flag up how much time and effort it took.
Meredith Brooks had a point: we are all more complicated than such easy labels.
So yes, I'm a biker who happens to like stiletto heels (not for riding, but still), I practise kung fu and also wear make-up - hell, I even highlight my hair. And while I am pretty blonde, I do still want to be taken seriously. It's not my fault my DNA specified fair colouring. Like Dulwichmum, I don't understand why any of that is considered so contradictory.